He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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