I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
