I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
