I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
