I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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