Sry I called you an 8
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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