Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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