My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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