you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
