Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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