dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
