You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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