it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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