first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
