And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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