I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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