Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
