soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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