That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
