i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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