I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
