The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
