that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
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