Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
