I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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