You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
