Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
