So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
