...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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