someone get that fucking seahorse.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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