I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
