Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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