you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
