We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
