she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You made out with two different species that night
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
