"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
