She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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