She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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