I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
