He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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