K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
