ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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