handjob tips. give me some.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
