so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
There r osticjed everywhere
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
