even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
