I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
