Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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