he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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