I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
