oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Randomize
